The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love brings immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with somebody my blog we are brought in to incredibly difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, Recommended Site excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .

However when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that numerous of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urbane areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sex. Numerous gay guys want to find out from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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