The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective sensations of attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and wellness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that many of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay men want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes click reference it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger go to my blog relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar