The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great also).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted navigate to this site to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, closeness, and check my source love .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urban locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat this content relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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